J-pouch Life

There’s that great line in the bible (or the Byrds song, whichever you prefer), “a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.”

Prior to my diagnosis of UC and, subsequently, Crohn’s, I was a devoted and passionate dancer.  It was my “thing.”  It was also one of the first things to go when I got too sick to be that physical.  For a long time, I was truly devastated that I couldn’t dance anymore-and I really couldn’t-not the way I had my whole life, not the way I was best at, not the way I loved.  I was actually teaching jazz when I was 17 and totally chock-full of Prednisone.  I would go into the tap room because it had the cool tile floor during my breaks because the Prednisone made me so hot.  Eventually, Crohn’s kicked my ass.  I was able to go to Europe for a few weeks in the summer after my last year of teaching dance, but as soon as I landed in the states, I was admitted to the hospital for a week for a flare.  The following years were tolerable.  I wasn’t teaching or taking classes, but I was in college, doing well in school and that occupied me enough to serve as a distraction.  Don’t get me wrong, I’d occasionally bust it out in my dorm room when my roommate was away, but it was nothing like it used to be for me.  About a year later, my disease progressed rapidly and severely.  I tried several treatments, nothing worked.  Eventually the bleeding and fatigue got so bad that I physically couldn’t leave my apartment, could barely eat, and stayed mostly in bed.  There was no dancing in the living room then.  Soon after, I made the decision to have the J-pouch surgery, which I maintain is one of the best decisions I’ve made in my life.  Although I felt incredibly better after getting the diseased colon out of me, things were a struggle for the first year.  About 9 months after the final surgery, my doctors discovered I had Crohn’s. I started Humira and a few other drugs and am now in my second year of remission and doing great! I am also proud to report that I attended my first dance class in TEN years tonight.  (Has it really been that long?)  Let me tell you, I am hella PROUD of myself for A) going back, B) keeping up with a room of 18 year olds, ten years younger than me, and C) for doing all this with my rockin’ Jpouch and Crohn’s disease.  For a long time, I remembered thinking I’d never dance again-that the diseases would take away all joy from my life because I was too sick and exhausted to live my life.

This post is a reminder to keep fighting.  Health is a wonderful thing we often take for granted.  It is also a reminder to challenge yourself, get out there and do something fun.
I may have a little trouble walking tomorrow (I’m a smidge out of shape after 10 years), but you can bet your ass I’ll be back in that studio leaping, dancing, and being me.

These posts might also help out:

• July 15, 2009 -- Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell (12)
• January 17, 2009 -- Just a quick note about Prednisone (11)
• November 10, 2009 -- 6 Months Later: Jaypouchirifical (6)
• September 16, 2009 -- Plaid Pantry Denies Bathroom to Crohn’s Customer (9)