Comments on: Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell

By: Lizz

Lizz — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 05:41:41 +0000

Oh cool! My fiance would be insanely jealous…

By: brevin via iphone

brevin via iphone — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 05:14:01 +0000

Whoops, I somehow accidentally posted before done. I was trying to say I’m none of those fancy adjectives ( you left out “financially risky” cough “invest in KFC flavored gummi worms” cough cough), but thanks! I work in the video game industry : )

By: brevin via iphone

brevin via iphone — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 05:08:25 +0000

I’m none of those

By: Lizz

Lizz — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 02:45:40 +0000

Where does a talented, witty artist like you work, Brevin?

By: brevin via iphone

brevin via iphone — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 18:22:10 +0000

Back when I had UC, I used the bathroom so frequently that the running joke within the team was that one of the stalls was my “second office”. Har har har. If people are genuinely interested in my health I’ll share as much as they want to know, and I will moon them for a minimal “visual presentation” fee. My management is very accommodating with my shenanigans, and I feel blessed about that.

By: lizz

lizz — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 18:14:09 +0000

I’ve had to explain them too, but one was just explained as “emergency surgery.” They then asked if it was anything that would keep me from working. I thought about it and decided that since the twisted J-pouch issue had resolved, and I was in remission that my answer was, “No.” I find that often times our surgeries require SO much explanation, that to a potential employer, a yes or no answer can suffice.

By: Elise

Elise — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 15:41:15 +0000

Thank you for your post Lizz Well done. I have the same issue as Eric. I have a few gaps on my resume and I also have the itch to pursue a few opportunities. So, once again I would need to explain those gaps! I hate that.

By: Eric

Eric — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 17:49:35 +0000

I agree. I used to have a huge gap on my resume starting in 2005 when I was really sick the first time around. I used to say “ask me about this” and explain everything. If someone straight up asks me, I’ll answer honestly, but now I just add that I was freelancing during that time (which I was, I just don’t tell people that it was often from the hospital). So I’m all for keeping it a little quieter now that your healthy. Congrats on the job and the health! I raise my coffee in a toast.

By: Mark

Mark — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 16:01:02 +0000

This post hits home for me Lizz. Now that we’ve moved to Georgia (6 months ago), I’ve been able to push the restart button on my life. Two aspects for me have been 1) not having the need to tell people because there aren’t outward signs of being sick (i.e. running to the bathroom), and 2) I don’t identify as a “sick” person any longer and therefore, I don’t think about my health enough to talk with anyone about it (other than Megan and we do still talk at home about how the pouch is doing, fiber, pouchitis, etc…). It has been really nice to not tell people that I work with about being sick, but if it came up to someone being sick, I would probably give them information but not sure how I would handle it because I wouldn’t want to blow my cover like you are doing at your job.
I think the best thing you are doing in P-town is not letting the disease be your identity and I feel like i’m doing that here in Georgia and it is the first time in nearly 8-9 years that I feel truly content with myself as a man, not a man with a disease.

By: Lizz

Lizz — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 14:44:48 +0000

Haha, thanks, Erin. Now that I’m in remission, even with the Jpouch, I really don’t think I go to the bathroom more than anyone else at work, and I’m busting my ass, so I’m definitely not being labeled a slacker. But like I said, before it was practical because I was sick. Since so many people where I work do have a good idea of the horrors of IBD, I think it best to not tell them until absolutely necessary, which I hope to avoid by just staying in remission:)