Colonoscopy Results & Questions I Won’t Ask The Surgeon

by on Monday, January 26, 2009 19:44
This entry is filed under: surgery

My latest colonoscopy results are in. Prior to the colonoscopy, I was still in the decision making process and trying to overcome my fear of surgery. Well, the colonoscopy made the decision for me. After seven years of maximum dosage for my ulcerative colitis, I’m not improving. While I could suck it up and keep on trucking, my body is taking a beating from the immunity suppressants on top of the already unpleasant UC conditions. I can’t see myself putting up with this for the rest of my life. My GI is referring me to UCSF. Does anyone have any experience with UCSF, or have you heard anything about them through the J-Pouch community?

Results are in

Results are in

I have a kwazillion questions to ask the surgeon candidate. A kwazillion. Scientists maintain that’s a real number when it comes to questions regarding anything related to a scalpel. I’m currently compiling a list, spanning all areas from the ileostomy bag and the recovery process to insurance coverage and surgery experience. Each time I think of something, I add it to this list. If I don’t break the surgeon down into tears from the mass amount of questions on the list, I obviously don’t have enough questions. There are a few questions I won’t ask the surgeon about having a J-Pouch, though. Questions I won’t ask the surgeon:

1 ) Can I tell my friends I’m half android with a J-Pouch? Or is it half cyborg?
2 ) With the J-Pouch, will I still get nauseous from watching CW ads for 090210 and Gossip Girl?
3 ) Is it true I can time-travel with the J-Pouch if I eat enough chili?
4 ) What are we looking at for the percentage gain in Chick Magnetism with a J-Pouch?
5 ) Did you cry at the end of Titanic? The Notebook?
6 ) Since I weigh less (hello, I’m missing a colon), am I better at Pop-Lock dance routines?
7 ) Do J-Pouchers get discounts?
8 ) Are you House?

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15 Responses to “Colonoscopy Results & Questions I Won’t Ask The Surgeon”

  1. avatar

    Megan says:

    January 26th, 2009 at 8:30 pm

    Seriously, I was laughing outloud at this post, I just couldn’t handle #8 “Are you House” – that is just comic genius right there……

    [Reply]

  2. avatar

    Megan says:

    January 26th, 2009 at 8:36 pm

    OH MY GOODNESS, I’m so sorry I didn’t read the beginning of your post and only saw the fun part after the reality part. First, sorry for the reality but glad to hear you seem ready for the next step. And yes, we know UCSF…that was Mark’s hospital for his surgeries (in the photos you can see the UCSF rooms, etc). They are EXCELLENT (from surgeons, GI’s to nurses) and you can’t do any better on the west coast in our opinion. Mark’s surgeon moved recently but we know that Dr. Varma, the interium chief, and Dr. Laura (name blank) are wonderful surgeons. They have the best training, and the highest technology etc….You can send a private message if you want to chat further on this with Mark or myself.

    [Reply]

  3. avatar

    Brevin says:

    January 26th, 2009 at 9:52 pm

    Thanks Megan! I’m insanely relieved to hear that UCSF is the go-to place over here. I might have to ask you some questions in a private email, but don’t worry, nothing too bad :)

    [Reply]

  4. avatar

    Dennis says:

    January 27th, 2009 at 7:42 am

    I told people I was a cyborg (mix of man and machine). No half-cyborg, no half-android (all machine).

    [Reply]

  5. avatar

    Jamie says:

    January 27th, 2009 at 7:28 pm

    Hey Brevin –

    I am so sorry to hear that you are faced with this decision. it is a tough one but there is a lot of support available to you regardless of which way you decide to go. I am currently a patient at UCSF. I have seen Dr. Mahadevan in the GI department and Dr. Varma and her care team in the colo-rectal surgery department. Feel free to email you if you have questions. I was extremely worried but now that i have step 1 down and Step 2 scheduled i feel like I have made the right decision.

    [Reply]

    avatar

    guila Reply:

    Jamie, we are considering that department for my son’s upcoming surgery. Could I contact you with some questions? Thanks.

    [Reply]

  6. avatar

    Brevin says:

    January 27th, 2009 at 7:34 pm

    Wow. Can I email you some of my kwazillion questions? I don’t know how to personally contact people through jpouch.net yet : )

    [Reply]

  7. avatar

    Mark says:

    January 27th, 2009 at 7:39 pm

    Dr. Mahadevan was also my GI before I moved, she is an excellent GI because she listens but is proactive. Glad to hear Jamie that you’ve got one step down, the next one will be much easier.

    [Reply]

  8. avatar

    Liz says:

    January 28th, 2009 at 11:37 am

    lol!! Hilarious. Humor helps a lot. I often refer to myself as the bionic woman, but I have yet to receive a J-pouch discount. While I can’t pop and lock like I used to, I’ve got that “Single Ladies” routine down pat…And, I would estimate that your chick magnetism will go up by at least 10%. My fiance maintains that he was first attracted to me b/c of my J-pouch.

    [Reply]

  9. avatar

    Kristina says:

    January 29th, 2009 at 9:42 am

    My daughter just had her 1st surgery at UCSF December 17th. The surgeon was Dr. Varma. My daughters GI doctors from UC Davis highly recommended her. She was wonderful. The nursing staff at UCSF are GREAT. My daughter is 18 and was so sick that they had to transfer her from UC Davis to have the surgery, we did not have a chance to meet the surgeon or visit the hospital. The nursing staff helped us all to get settled. We couldn’t say enough great things about UCSF.

    [Reply]

    avatar

    guila Reply:

    Kristina, we are considering the Jpouch surgery for my son with Dr. Varma. Would you mind if I contacted you with some questions? Thanks a lot.

    [Reply]

    avatar

    Mark Reply:

    Hi, I had my surgery at UCSF 2 years ago, so feel free to write me at mdhilton@gmail.com if you have questions. Here is my UCSF surgery journal: http://www.jpouch.net/photos/surgery-1/ ….Brevin also had his at UCSF http://www.jpouch.net/author/brevin/

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  10. avatar

    Pia says:

    August 6th, 2009 at 10:55 am

    By all means ask the surgeon if he has seen Titanic and if he cried. Hahaaa. I most enjoy surprising my GI doc with Questions, weird unexpected ones. My colonoscopy was clear thank God, but because I had recent thyroid cancer, they had to do it. Under sedation, so I have no idea what happened during the -scopy, mercifully unaware of all of it.

    [Reply]

  11. avatar

    gullotine says:

    November 13th, 2010 at 12:58 am

    Your report feels like an A. I totally agree with your opinion. Your artical is great! I have been to your posts before.

    [Reply]

  12. avatar

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    November 7th, 2014 at 7:40 am

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