Devastating news….

by on Saturday, January 24, 2009 10:37
This entry is filed under: relationships

I just received bad news. My partner of over 2 years, just told me this weekend that our relationship was no longer working out for him. It took me by total surprise because he is such an affectionate person, I never doubted his love for me. And he was a huge part of the reason I went through the surgery, because I thought we were going to be together and he could help me get through it. Now that I don’t have my large intestine, I find that my chances of getting another relationship are a lot harder and I’m going to have to go through some let-downs as far as my self-esteem goes. I’m still in shock from what happened and I feel like it’s just a dream. We live together and I have insurance through him, as a domestic parntership. So now we have to continue living together, because I still have 2 more surgeries to go through and if we move apart, I will lose my insurance and no longer be able to have the surgeries. He hurt me so bad, I find it hard to be in the same apartment with him and the next several months is going to be a serious challenge to my naturally upbeat disposition. This was just one more thing that the disease took from me. Anyone ever gone through a break-up because their partner couldn’t handle the situation?

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5 Responses to “Devastating news….”

  1. avatar

    Brevin says:

    January 24th, 2009 at 11:24 am

    I’m so sorry.
    I lost the woman I loved because of a situation like this. I’m still pre-surgery, still with full blown UC, but I understand what you are talking about. Because of my UC, the medication I’m on are immune suppressants, so my health is ALWAYS a concern. The breaking point was when one of my meds almost killed me and I was in the ICU getting a blood transfusion. She was there, saw me almost die, and she realized she couldn’t handle that. Not in the long run. This was a significant factor in our separation.
    A year has since passed, and I still think of the sacrifices that were made and the losses that were endured because of my health. I’ve had UC for seven years now, and I want to get better. I don’t talk too much to her. It’s complicated, I suppose. She doesn’t know I’m currently planning the for J-Pouch. And it shouldn’t matter.
    I wish I had her support going into the surgery, but I can’t imagine losing the support mid through the process.I don’t understand why your loved one is walking out now as you are getting cured
    When you’re better, your new life will open new doors :)


  2. avatar

    Jenelle says:

    January 24th, 2009 at 12:50 pm

    That is really tough, Mike. I’m sorry to hear that you have another hurtle to jump. I hope that you have others you can turn to for support (and that you can get some support through connecting with others online).

    I can’t pretend to know what you’re going through, but I have had my share of break-ups previously. They are always awful and it always gets better. I (and I’m sure the rest of the people who participate in this blog) are thinking of you and hope that feel better soon.


  3. avatar

    Mark says:

    January 24th, 2009 at 1:52 pm

    Mike, This is not good news and an awful situation you are now dealing with. It is good that he will remain supportive through the following surgeries so that you aren’t left high and dry wthout insurance, etc….It may be a situation for you where you’ll need to seek counseling just to manage the stress/trauma of the stress of the reality, one person can only manage so much reality where a 3rd party can help up those coping skills. Hang in there, and keep posting, we are here if you need anything.


  4. avatar

    ShalenesUC says:

    January 26th, 2009 at 7:33 am

    I’m very sorry for your situation. Hearing your story makes me that much more thankful for my supportive husband. You deserve a supportive partner. I hope things start looking up.


  5. avatar

    WholeHeartAndSoul says:

    January 30th, 2009 at 4:04 pm

    Oh Mike, as I read your entry I felt my heart start to beat quickly. Losing my partner because of all I’ve gone through is one of my biggest fears. I ask him for reassurance that he won’t leave me all the time – probably makes him crazy. I remember the day before I had my colon removed he told me he would be with me no matter what – that me having a bag attached to me wouldn’t make a difference to him at all. But when he went home that night I thought to myself, this has to be a decision that I can live with on my own, not because he’s my partner, because who knows what the future holds. I’m sorry for your loss Mike. I’m angry about your loss too. This may be cyber-space we are all communicating through, but I am a real person here at my keyboard. I am real person who would do anything I could to help someone else out through a difficult time like this – so please know that. You will be in my thoughts . . . Abby


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